10 pct. af alle biltyve er kejthåndede. Alle isbjørne er kejthåndede. Så hvis din bil bliver stjålet, er der 10 pct. chance for, at den er stjålet af en isbjørn.
39 pct. af de arbejdsløse mænd går med briller. 80 pct. af mænd i beskæftigelse går med briller. Arbejde ødelægger synet!
50 pct. af afgangseleverne i dette land opnår et eksamensresultat i den dårligste halvdel af klassen.
Der er en statistisk korrelation mellem antallet af initialer i en englænders navn og den sociale klasse, han tilhører (overklassen har signifikant flere end tre navne, hvorimod de lavere klasser i gennemsnit 2,6).
Det er bevist, at det er sundt at fejre fødseldag! Statistikken viser, at de mennesker, der fejrer flest fødselsdage, bliver ældst.
Det er nu uimodsigeligt bevist, at rygning er én af hovedårsagerne til statistik.
En statistiker er en matematiker fordelt på alder og køn En statistiker er en person hvis ambition livet igennem er at være vis på uvisheden.
En statistiker er en person som fastholder, at det usikre er sikkert.
En statistiker er en person, der med matematisk nøjagtighed trækker en linie fra en ubekræftet antagelse til en forhastet slutning.
En statistiker er en person, hvis livsdrøm er kun at tage fejl 5 pct. af tiden.
En statistiker er en person, som fastholder at det usikre er sikkert.
En statistiker er en person, som har nogle vage ideer om diamanter, fanger et glimt af simili og ender med et stykke kul.
En statistiker er en person, som med en masse tal kan forklare, hvorfor den forrige statistik ikke holdt
En statistiker er en person, som mener, at tal ikke lyver, men indrømmer, at hvis man analyserer dem, er de heller ikke nødvendigvis sande.
En statistiker er en specialist, som samler data sammen og derpå leder dem på afveje.
For år tilbage kunne en statistiker hævde, at statistik drejer sig om behandling af data. Nutidens statistiker ville nok snarere sige, at statistik drejer sig om beslutningstagen trods usikkerhed.
Gamle statistikere dør aldrig, de bliver bare ikke-signifikante.
Hvis du ikke har heldet med dig i første omgang, så transformer dit datasæt.
Hvis tre statistikere er medlemmer af samme komité vil resultatet blive fire mindretalsudtalelser.
Hvorfor mon en læge nyder langt større anseelse end en statistiker? Fordi lægen kan lave en analyse af et komplekstsygdomstilfælde, mens statistikeren kan gøre dig syg med en kompleks analyse.
Hvorfor mon statistikeren blev statistiker? Han fandt bogføring alt for ophidsende!
Nogle hævder, at hvis alverdens statistikere blev lagt på jorden i en lang række hoved ved fod, ville det være en god ting - andre bemærker, at så ville 2/3 ligge under vand.
Over hele verden åbnes der 4000 dåser i sekundet. 10 babyer bliver undfanget hvert sekund. Så hver gang du åbner en dåse er chanchen 1 til 400 for at du bliver gravid.
Statistik er indsamling, analyse og tolkning af numeriske data på en sådan måde, at de kan forstås af computere -og misforstås af alle andre.
Statistikeren selv er nok den eneste som aldrig fuldtud erkender begrænsningerne i sit arbejde.
Statistikken viser, at der hvert andet minut laves en ny statistik.
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
A dreamer lives for eternity.
A friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages.
About Richard Nixon: He told us he was going to take crime out of the streets. He did. He took it into the damn White House.
About Richard Nixon: Where is Lee Harvey Oswald now that his country needs him?
Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.
Being superstitious brings bad luck.
Change is good, but dollars are better.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
Dancing is the perpendicular expression of horizontal desire.
Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Faith flies through the window when beauty walks in the door.
God Bless America, but God help Canada to put up with them!
I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one... ME!!!
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair. If this doesn't work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever!
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for once.
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can speak three languages - you're trilingual. If you can speak two languages-you're bilingual. If you can speak only one language - you're an American.
If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a compute.
I'm out of the loop, and that's the way I like it.
It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you are at it.
Leisure is a beautiful garment, but it will not do for constant wear.
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.
Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness.
Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's good only for wallowing it.
Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
Never date anyone crazier than yourself.
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
OK, so you've got a Ph.D. Now, don't touch anything.
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself.
Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night.
Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.
Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written Someday is not a day of the week.
The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.
The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.
The future belongs to those who dare.
The more you know, the less you need to show.
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.
The rainy days a man saves for usually seem to arrive during his vacation.
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
The trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance.
The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...
There is less to fear from outside competition than from inside inefficiency, discourtesy and bad service.
To be free it is not enough to beat the system, one must beat the system every day.
To err is human - to forgive is not company policy.
Truth fears no questions.
Victory is a political fiction.
We always remember best the irrelevant.