Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
ASAP - As Silly As Possible!
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Few woman admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Forget about World Peace - Visualize using your turn signal.
I always believed I could see myself sleeping if I woke up fast enough.
I killed a six pack just to watch it die.I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If you think that everyone is inherently good, you haven't met everyone.
I'm so paranoid that I think that people are out to help me.
I'm so stressed out every day that when I'm calm, it makes me nervous.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Let us live!!! Let us love!!!! Let us share the deepest secrets of our souls!!!! You first.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
My opinions have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Of course I'm drunk! What do you think I am? A stunt driver?
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is not lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do - Sartre Do be do be do - Sinatra.
We can defeat gravity. The problem is the paperwork involved.
When all other means of communication fail, try words.
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
You can't argue with a sick mind.